12.09.2013

Monday's Musing - Holding on to God


Anyone who has lost a loved one knows how hard the first year after their death can be. The year is filled with "firsts". First birthday, first Christmas, first anniversary…the list goes on and on. 

I was a bit worried going into Thanksgiving. The commercials for the Macy Day Parade made me cry. My father-in-law LOVED that parade. Especially the Rockettes. 

My big, loving family….
If the commercials made me cry, I wasn't sure how I'd get through the day. But as it turned out, I watched the Rockettes in the hotel lobby where we had just finished breakfast. My eyes misted, but no torrent of tears! 

Then, we headed over to Daddy's to be with my family. My siblings were there. And my nieces and nephews. The house was full of life. And noise!

Of course we missed Mom. She's left a big hole. But she would have wanted us to get together and have fun. Well, we did. The cousins played and played. The adults talked. Or tried to anyway over all the ruckus! 

But you know what the cool thing is? God was good. I made it through. Yes, I cried one night. But I made it. It was hard. But God was faithful. 

Now, Christmas is fast approaching. I know there will be tears. (Okay, I'm a cryer if you hadn't figured it out.) Like when I pulled out ornaments my mom had made for me. Yep. I cried. 

Again, it's okay to cry. But I'm not stopping there. I get my grief out and keep going. Remembering the good times.

And I know if God could get me through Thanksgiving, He can do the same for Christmas. I'm holding on to that. 

I'm praying that God will walk with you through whatever hilltop or valley you find yourself in. May you find Him faithful to walk with you. Guiding you in your life. 

I sure am grateful for His presence in my life. 

Mary


2 comments:

  1. Thanks for sharing this, Mary. Your willingness to be open about what you're going through is admirable.

    You're spot on when it comes to all the "firsts" the year after losing someone close to you. It sounds like you're handling all the mixed emotions that go along with it well.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Ellen. :) This has been the hardest season of my life. But I'm learning to cling to God.

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